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Lewis Black


American
August 30, 1948
Comedian
three zinnen dolomites mountains
Political audiences are not fun.


Lewis Black
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Usually I'm too tired to apologize.


Lewis Black
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Everybody's family has different values.


Lewis Black
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I'm not a big birthday guy; I never have been.


Lewis Black
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As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic.


Lewis Black
Tags: More Gets Outside
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I'm amazed that anyone is interested in what I have to say.


Lewis Black
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Do you know what 'meteorologist' means in English? It means liar.


Lewis Black
Tags: You Know Means
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People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single.


Lewis Black
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There should be a law that you can't shut down the government - that you don't have that power.


Lewis Black
The core of the American public, their hearts and their minds are in the right place. And that gives me hope.
Lewis Black
Tags: Hope Me Right
I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of panic.
Lewis Black
Stand-up is the only thing in which you actually write it, act it and direct it simultaneously, so it's actually a great theater exercise.
Lewis Black
Tags: Great You Which
What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.
Lewis Black
Tags: You About Get
I continue to work on plays, but I've always felt that you could put a note in a bottle and send it offshore, and you'd have as much chance communicating with people.
Lewis Black
Tags: Work Chance You
When people come to my act any time after Thanksgiving, I usually say, You shouldn't be here. You should be shopping. Our economy depends on you! You should be out there buying stuff.'
Lewis Black
If I get a week off, I'll go to a hotel that has a golf course. I like to come downstairs and go right onto the course. I'll do that five days in a row.
Lewis Black
Tags: Like Get Go
And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye.
Lewis Black