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Josh Billings
American
April 21, 1818
Comedian
Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Old
Tea
Scandal
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Like
Water
Flattery
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Love
Through
Looks
It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Know
Than
Better
The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Best
Know
Lord
Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.
Josh Billings
Tags:
God
People
Most
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Truth
Always
Been
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Good
You
Life
Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Time
Money
Like
I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Never
Anything
Person
Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.
Josh Billings
Tags:
You
People
Most
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Travel
Up
Way
Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Who
Life
Any
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Best
Who
Never
Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Man
His
Same
If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Faith
Would
World
If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Would
World
He
Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Who
Know
Love
I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.
Josh Billings
Tags:
Time
Just
Things
It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.
Josh Billings
Tags:
God
Up
Got
